Since I last blogged, my life has completely and totally changed for the better (or you could say for better or for worse). Yes, for those of you that don't know, I got married this summer, hence the name change from "Adventures in Single Parenting" to my new blog titled "Bluebonnets and Lupines".
For a woman who had her life pretty much out there for the entire world to see and read about, I went into blog silence for several months for many reasons. I'm sorry to have disappointed my followers and to have left you wondering about what happened to me, but I had many reasons that I didn't blog through my courtship and marriage. The first reason is that I was crazy and insanely busy with my life. When I was single parenting, many of my blogs were written after the kids went to bed. I am the type of person that needs people. Just like the Barbara Streisand song says, "People who need people are the luckiest people in the world." However, when you are a person who needs people and the only people that are around are your two sleeping children, it can be a lonely existence. By blogging, I felt like I was connecting with others even when I was sitting in my bed by myself. Therefore, many of my blogs were created in the quiet of the evening when I needed to process my feelings and the events of the day. Once I became involved in a relationship, my evenings were filled with that companionship that I had been seeking. Please don't take offense, but having a real person to talk to, bounce ideas off of, vent, cry with and laugh with is greatly superior to blogging in silence.
Next, both the new hubby and I are divorced. There are other people involved in our lives and I really did not feel it was in good form to be publishing my happiness for the world to read about when I knew in some way our actions were causing pain for others in our lives. I'm not saying we did anything wrong by getting remarried. We did not cheat on our exes and we did not seek one another out to purposely cause pain for them. However, having been on the end of the stick where I got to witness someone in my life "move on" before I was ready to move, I knew first hand how painful it could be. I knew that splashing my joy all over blogger or Facebook would not help anyone's healing process. Yes, there will always be pain involved in divorce. Divorce stinks. Divorce is the gift that keeps on taking no matter how long you've been divorced or whether or not you've moved on, it hurts, it stings, it STINKS! I'm trying all I can do NOT to increase the pain of the other's in our lives, but no matter what I do, just the nature of divorce is going to cause pain. Even in my happiness and joy, there are many days that I'm still sad my life and my children's lives did not turn out as I envisioned them.
I am finally at a point where I would love to share some of the events that are happening in my life and with the kids. I'd love to share some of my insights, some of what I've learned and continue to learn. Most importantly, I would love to keep blogging so my kids have a record of my life. My mom kept diaries her whole life. I can go back and read about the day I was born, the day President Reagan was shot, the day I lost my first tooth. I'm not as diligent about blogging as my mom was about her diary, but I want to leave the same kind of record for my kids so they knew who I was and what I felt strongly about. I have learned so much about my mother by reading about her life. My desire is for my kids to truly know who I was as a person through this blog.
Tomorrow... how did I come up with the new name, you ask?? Come back tomorrow to find out. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment