I have to apologize to all of you who listened to me over the last few years whine and complain about my life. I really, really tried to look at the bright side, but it was really difficult to do that. I tried to find the lessons I was learning in the challenges I was facing and I tried to find the positive. When blogging on "Adventures in Single Parenting", I hope that if you were a reader, my posts weren't too depressing. I know some of them were, but I hope you also found the humor that I did in single parenting. I tried to look at all that I was going through as a positive experience or an experience I could learn from even when times were very, very tough.
However, most of the time over the last few years, whenever I heard others complain about their husbands, their jobs or their overactive kids, I thought in my mind, "You have nothing to complain about. You could be living my life. Both of my parents are dead, I'm an only child, I'm single and raising two very active young boys all by myself with NO relief, EVER! My life is worse than yours and you don't have a clue how good you've got it." Yep, I'm not proud of it and I may have even had those thoughts about you. Isn't it funny how when we are going through trials or even when we are just having difficult times, life can be all consuming and it seems like no one has ever had it as bad as we've had it ever!
We love to blame other people and other situations for our unhappiness, when in reality life just happens. Things that truly are horrible happen to good people and bad equally. Sometimes, your circumstances are the results of your decisions, but sometimes they are not. Sometimes life just plain STINKS, it's HARD, it's AWFUL and when someone complains about their circumstances and they don't seem as hard as yours, it can make you ANGRY... and bitter... and question... why me? why is this MY life? This isn't what I planned or expected? It's not FAIR!!! I deserve more!! But, do you? Did I? Life is tough for everyone. Why should I be spared pain and sorrow? Because I'm the center of the universe, that's why? And guess what? Everyone else feels like they are the center of their universe too. And guess what? No one really is the center of anyone else's universe.
I finally came to the realization that life can stink and be horrible, I am NOT the center of everyone else's universe and everyone else in the world does not view ME as the center of their universe. I have come to the conclusion that no one's life is any better, worse, more valuable, less valuable, more precious, more special, more worthless or more horrible than mine. We just all go through our peaks and valleys at different times and some people have more peaks than others and some have wider and deeper valleys.
Right now, I am on a mountaintop. I am as happy as I've ever been, but I need to remember that there are others going through various trials right now. My happiness may actually be causing them pain because what I have may remind them of what they do not have. If I can remember my pain and use it to help others than I will be a better person for it and I will have had a purpose for all that I've gone through. Instead of looking back at my trials as a horrible, painful time that had no purpose, I can see the reason I went through it all. If I can reach out to others that are in the valleys and lend a helping hand, a sympathetic ear or an empathetic heart, then may trials were for a greater meaning and next time I go through a trial, I can look at it as an opportunity to grow.
So, if you are going through a trial right now, my heart goes out to you. Please be brave and courageous, reach out to others, get the help and support you need, but most importantly, know that this trial is for a season. Soon you will be again on the top of the mountain, breathing the fresh, crisp air and looking at how beautiful the world is. Hang in there and use this time to learn and grow. And, when you get onto the mountaintop and you are looking around at the beauty of the world, remember that those that are in the shadows of the valley can't see more than a few feet in front of them because of the valley they are in. If you can, be the beauty of the world for them. Shine your light on them through your kind words and acts. Don't complain about your circumstances, but instead, ask them about how their life is, what their needs are and what you can do to help them. Then, lend a hand, lend an ear, lend a shoulder or a pair of arms to hold them through their trials. By doing this, you will lift them up and will help them to see that even in darkness, the world is still beautiful.
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